Day 30 What a month so far

I am now trained to work out even if I do not feel like it. I did take yesterday off as I heard it is best to give your body a day of rest. Today I am sick but I still pushed through a workout. It was very difficult. I have no appetite right now whatsoever so I am planning on just pushing fluids and some fruit. Better then nothing.

Breakfast: Orange Juice and apple

Lunch: Orange Juice and tomato soup with croutons

Dinner: Chicken Soup, Gatorade and grilled cheese

Snack: Orange....

Guess I am pushing vitamin C.

Day 29 Slow and Steady

Today is almost a month I have been on this journey. Insane isn't it? This week my weight loss slowed down quite a bit. I am down to 226 even. I thought I would gain so any loss makes me ecstatic. Ro is showing that he is proud of me but it is still bringing out his insecurities. I really do want to do this for me and me only.I want to be beautiful. I want to look at the cute clothes. I want to avoid being in the "Womens" section. I want to feel young and attractive again. Slowly I am getting there. Any loss is a loss and I will rejoice in it.

Breakfast: 3 barbacoa tacos

Lunch: Salad with sesame chicken

Dinner: Chicken Hamburger with carrots

Snack: Apple, celery with peanut butter

Day 28 This is slowly becoming routine

Everyday I am on this journey I am finding it easier to complete. I look forward to exercising and planning my day of food. Today I woke up and did 40 minutes of Zumba Wii Fitness. The kids even got up and did 20 minutes with me. It was a blast even if I felt every jiggle of my behind. Tomorrow is weigh in day...did I gain? Did I lose or stay the same? Guess you guys will have to tune in to see.

Breakfast: Scrambled egg whites, spinach, tomato, hot sauce and Orange Juice.

Lunch: Spinach Salad with turkey bacon, tomatos, croutons and italian dressing.

Dinner: Chicken Sausage, salad and baby carrots.

Snack: Fruit

Day 27 I am still going

My shoulders are aching. My back is screaming. Damn you Bob for making me ache so much. I hate Yoga and my fat behind is not meant to stretch that way. If It was I would not worry so much about my weight. I could just bend it behind me and pretend it never existed. I can feel difference in my body now so I thank you for that. I feel the muscles in my legs and they look pretty damn good now. They always have but more now then ever. Bob you are rocking. With you and Zumba I will get where I want to be.

Breakfast: 3 egg whites, chopped spinach, tomato and pickled jalapeno.

Lunch: 1 serving grilled chicken breast, spinach, carrots, croutons, italian dressing

Dinner: 2 slices domino's pineapple and ham pizza with jalapenos and baby carrots.

Snack: Glass of skim milk with nesquick. orange with chili on it.

Day 26 I found my love

When I wake up in the morning doing the biggest loser is starting to become old and honestly the Shred was not the answer either. Last night on facebook one of my friends mentioned Zumba Wii. I asked Ro if we could get it and he went and grabbed it for me. I played it for 40 minutes today and it really did get me in a sweat. I loved it so much. I felt sexy and sensual and I could feel the burn. It totally rocked and I think I will be doing this on my down days for now on.

Breakfast: Hard Boiled egg, glass of orange juice, yogurt with oatmeal

Lunch: Cut up brat with mustard and ketchup, baby carrots, spinach and orange.

Dinner: Grilled Chicken, 1/2 cup white rice and steamed veggies.

Day 25 I feel so alive

Today was day 25 and Bob I have nothing to say to you. You killed me. My shoulders are screaming my head is aching and I want to cry. Yet I feel proud and strong too. I will do that workout again tomorrow. It is getting easier Bob and I am so glad we are doing this as a team.

Breakfast: Yogurt with oats, graham cracker, hard boiled egg

Snack: 1 serving gold fish crackers

Lunch: Boiled egg, bowl of baby tomatoes, half apple.

Dinner: 1 brat sliced up, mustard, ketchup and a salad.

Day 24 It is happening

Slowly but sure this is becoming a life change. I get up go take my daughter to school and then I come home and work out. I usually aim for 30 minutes of moderate a day. I have found a workout that I love doing and I will continue it. Today Bob rocked my world. I am not weighing myself daily anymore as that just makes me depressed. I am going to do this if it kills me.

Breakfast: Orange Juice smoothie with Banana, cinnamon and whole raw egg. 1/2 graham cracker

Lunch: Spinach Salad with Bacon bits, carrots and tomatoes.

Dinner: Steak with baked sweet potato, steamed veggies and spinach salad

Snack: Skim milk with nesquick, half an apple.

Day 23 Here we go again

Yesterday I slipped up and today I am paying for it dearly. My stomach is killing me and I feel very lethargic. I can also tell I am retaining water. But you know what? Today is a new day! The beauty of today is that I can wash my hands of yesterday and start over again today. Bob my dear trainer was not quite as forgiving as I expected but you know what? That is fine. I love being pushed to my limits. I am going to do this and stand strong. I have to become healthy for me and my family. I feel better eating healthy. I can and will do this.

Breakfast: 1 hardboiled egg, 1/2 apple, 1 serving baby carrots, glass of skim milk

Lunch: Spinach Salad with egg, croutons and dressing

Snack: 1/2 apple, whole wheat gold fish crackers

Dinner: Tortas de Jamon ( bread, ham, lettuce, tomato, onion, avacado and jalapenos)

Day 22 I was a failure

Why do I feel like a failure you may ask? Well today is my free day and I took it all. I enjoyed skipping breakfast besides a slice of rye bread from sunflower and chicken nuggets from wendy's (it was a very late breakfast) then for lunch I loved eating my beer brat and two plates of nachos with cheese and jalapenos. Dinner will ham tortas again. I know it could have been worse and my family and I drank no soda whatsoever however I am devestated because I know better then this. This is not me. I will make up for it this week and tomorrow I am not going near the scale because I will cry but still every day I am so good. I deserve a break sometimes. I am still doing well because I am proud to announce I am officially in my 220's again. I have not been here in forever. I need to drink a ton of water to make up for all this sodium I ate but I can make it better. I will get back on track tomorrow. The beauty of this is tomorrow is a new day and I can only improve.

Breakfast: Chicken Nuggests with sweet and sour sauce and rye bread

Lunch: Nachos and cheese with beer brat

Snack: Baby carrots

Dinner: Torta de jamon with apple

Day 21 This is a lifestyle change

So this morning I woke up with regret because of those slices of pizza I had. I told Ro I am only going to eat two for now on and then hide the others. I do not need 3 slices for God's sake. Good thing is I do not think I did much damage. I guess we will see tomorrow for sure.

I woke up and had to convince myself to do my exercise. I was not feeling it so I did not exercise quite as long as I wanted. I did 29 minutes today and that was it. But better then nothing. Tomorrow will be my day off. I really need one.

Breakfast: Oatmeal, water and orange

Lunch: Polish Sausage

Dinner:Ham Sandwich with fruit.

Day 20 Oh Dear God!

I am dying. Bob must have read here last night and decided well I will show her who is worse. Today I went into my work out of the day and he decided I could handle full body challenging for 30 minutes. Excuse my french for a minute here people. Fuck you Bob! I am still an obese lady and that fricking killed me. My ass still jiggles (even if it is slightly less.) My knees still creak. I am still a beginner. What is that you say? I have been doing this for 20 days. Um Bob you are working with a slacker here. I have seriously been sitting on my hiney eating whatever I want watching my ass get it's own zip code. Ok Bob I forgive you just remember I am still trying. I am learning like you are teaching. Thanks for your patience and I can do this with your help. I am taking it easy this weekend though. Please forgive me Bob. Come back. I just need a little break. I will see you tomorrow hon. Just on Moderate. Ok darling??? Kiss Kiss???? Forgive me!

Breakfast: Egg, jalapeno, orange, and graham cracker

Lunch: Spinach Salad with 2 peices of turkey bacon, light ranch and croutons.

Dinner: pizza and spinach salad.

Day 19 No pain no gain.....

Dear Bob,

I frickin' love you man. I would kiss you if I could see you in person. Maybe I will do it tomorrow but my son will think I lost it if I kiss the tv first thing in the morning. Compared to your partner Jillian dear Bob you are a saint. You have sympathy and empathy and you really care. Jillian however that woman is a beast. Sorry Jillian it is true. You have no empathy and you just keep going and going and going. You for now on will be named the energizer bunny. You do not stop. I think I am going to visit you every other day for a little while until I can get used to your methods. I am sorry but waking up in the morning feeling like I am going to barf is not my idea of a good time. So Monday, Weds, Friday I will visit you dear Jillian and suffer through it all. I understand now why you call it the shred. You are determined to shred my legs apart and rip me in half. But I will bare with it.

I do have to say dear Bob I am adoring you however. You make it burn just right. Not too much and not too little. Last night while I was climbing into bed I noticed something. I have leg muscles. Yes really I can feel the difference in my leg muscles already and that made me smile. Ro even felt the guns and he was very happy himself. I love feeling more toned everywhere even if you cannot really see it.

I am doing this. I am pretty sure I have incredible news this week but I will post it on Saturday. Life is good right now thanks to Bob and for that I am very grateful.

Breakfast: Egg, graham cracker, orange

Lunch: Salad with bbq chicken breast

Dinner: Hamburger on Whole wheat bun with sweet potato fries and lettuce.

Snack: Yogurt with graham cracker, celery with peanut butter.

Day 18? I think that is right I am losing track now

Last night Ro and I watched The Biggest Loser. I cringed as I watched those people bust their asses and then saw them perform those dreaded hip thrusts.Ro looked at me and asked' "Is it really that hard?" I told him sometimes yes, sometimes no but it is a matter of mind over body. I am realizing slowly that my mindset is changing instead of saying "I can't do this" I am thinking "I can handle this. I am almost there." Every ounce lost is a victory and I will do this. I am not alone in my journey anymore. I have an awesome group of woman helping push me through. I am a little addicted to the scale right now and I am going to try to only weigh in once a week or twice most. I want to see myself move in the right direction but not overdo anything. I am proud of the woman I am becoming. I can do this if I keep my heart in it. I will do it because I have to, but I will become better because of all I am doing and will be doing. I am proud of me right now pass or fail....but honestly at this point failing is not an option.

Workout: Warm up 6 minutes Moderate Core 29 minutes Cool Down 9 minutes, walk 2 miles and possible 30 Day Shred

Breakfast: Oatmeal made with honey and skim milk, 1 hard boiled egg and a mandarin orange.

Lunch: Steak wrap with Ranch dressing and orange

Dinner: 2 tacos de bistek with cilantro and salsa and spinach salad

Snack: Yogurt, graham cracker and 2 oz cheese

Day 17 This is getting hard

I know I am not supposed to lose a pound a day but this is getting very discouraging. It is hard dedicating myself to Bob every day for 30 minutes. I am getting burned out but I will continue to go on because I know it is helping. How else did I manage to lose this much already. I have to do this for myself. I have to be strong and I will be strong. I will become fit and trim. I will match the outer beauty to the inner beauty. I will make my husband and children proud and I will succeed I will not give up. I can do this. Yes I will. I do not have to be the biggest loser. I just need to become a better me.

Breakfast: Hard Boiled Egg, Orange, Graham Cracker

Lunch: Grilled Flank Steak Wrap with Light Ranch Dressing

Dinner: BBQ Chicken, White Rice, Steamed Vegetables and Salad

Snack: Yogurt with graham cracker and celery with peanut butter

Day 16 Back on track again

Since having a free day on Saturday and a lenient day on Sunday I am up a pound. Lovely. I am sure it is mostly water weight but it still sucks. So I am going to push myself harder this week. I want to get fit and I was doing a great job. Mondays are not good days to weigh in for me because of the weekend but I can do it. I really want to stop eating out. I think that will help me a lot. I am going to talk to Ro about this. Maybe just birthdays and such but stopping eating out will help tremendously. I can do this and it was only a pound it could have been so much worse. I worked out for 43 minutes today. I am going to walk the kids to a park after it is warmer and then I am going to grill out for dinner. I am over being inactive. Time to woman up and do this.

Breakfast: 4 oz raspberry eating right yogurt, 2 graham crackers, 1 celery stick and 12 ozs water

Lunch: Salad with spinach, romaine, crushed boiled egg, tomatoes, mushrooms and Caesar dressing.

Dinner: Grilled Flank Steak, spinach salad and baked sweet potato.

Snacks: Orange and peanuts

Day 15 Wanting more

The scale is dropping in the right direction but I find myself very frustrated with it not going down fast enough. Yes the weight did not come on overnight but I want to see it fall off like it did. Realistically I know that is not healthy or normal so I am being patient. I can do this and in time I will see the results and it will be worth it.

Breakfast: Breakfast Burrito (2 egg whites 1 whole egg scrambled, 2 tbsp cheese, 3 turkey sausage links, 1/2 cup of spinach) Glass of water and a mandarin.

Lunch: Spinach salad with croutons, italian dressing and cheese

Dinner: Fried Chicken no skin, spinach salad with Ranch Dressing

Snack: Graham Crackers and Yogurt

Today the whole family got in a 5 mile walk. My legs are burning and I am tired but I feel good too. We are becoming healthier one day at a time.

Day 14...Officially 2 weeks Now

I did not want to work out today. My shoulder is screaming and I am mentally and physically exhausted. I did my weigh in however on my group tomorrow is officially weigh in day so I will be releasing it tomorrow. Ro and I decided that today is going to be my free day. I deserve it and I want a stinking burrito. Sorry Bob I deserve that burrito and I am going to enjoy it with every ounce of my being. Then for dinner a couple slices of pizza with a salad. It is my free day but I am still making smart decisions.

I did end up working out for 26 minutes on very low intensity. it still got my heart rate pumping. I am proud of me and so is my husband. I am becoming a healthier me and I can do this.

Breakfast: Daniel's Daniels Burrito (Onions, Jalepenos, Steak, Rice and Shrimp)

Lunch: Chocolate Milk...do not judge was out in the car and had nothing else.

Snack: Graham Cracker

Dinner: 2 slices Combination Pizza (sausage, pepperoni, olives, green pepper and onion) with spinach salad.

Snack: Yogurt with an orange

Day 13 Up and Down and Round again

Dear Bob,

What did I do to piss you off today? Seriously those hip twists from planks are not cool at all. They are making my shoulders scream. I do not want to do that. My body says "Hell No we will not go!" And I agree with them. You are so lucky I am getting results. If I were not getting the results I would quit you. Ro is quite jealous of our relationship. He can see you keep me motivated. But he also went to work and bragged to his boss that I am taking this seriously. So Bob keep up the good work and together you and I are going to melt this weight off. Oh Bob do not be jealous or anything but I think at night I am going to start seeing your friend Jillian too. I want to try this 30 days to shred so You know I can be even stronger. Please understand Bob. I need to try this too. Love and much kisses. Lets take it easier tomorrow.

Me

PS Bob I did a 35 minute dance video on Netflix and while they got my heart rate up they could not torture me quite as good as you. So Bob we are doing this. I just wanted to let you know. I am trying other things too. We rock bob. Seriously we do.

Breakfast: Hard Boiled Egg, 1 plain graham cracker, 1 eating right yogurt, half a red delicous apple.

Lunch: Spinach salad with tomato, mushroom, croutons, 1 hard boiled egg and 3 tbsp lite ranch.

Dinner: Fettuccine (Whole Wheat) Alfredo with Chicken and Mushrooms on bed of spinach

Snack: Orange with cheese

Snack: Small Mole Wrap with lettuce

Day 12 I am really doing this

So here I am now on Day 12. I am realizing a lot of things. I have issues with food. I have an addiction to food. I love cooking and I am missing my food. See I love food. Last night I made the family mole. I could not resist it. I ended up making a small burrito of it. It was really good. But then I had regrets. I know I was under my calorie limit still as I cut out my snack but still I regretted every single bite. I am going to be stronger and do this right. I have too.

Also I have realized here that working out is really helping me. I find it releases endorphins and can help boost my mood when nothing else really helps. Like this morning I felt like crap. Kids misbehaving, people bothering me first thing in the morning and little sympathy from my partner I just wanted to cry. I prepared my son's breakfast and got my gallon of water ready and then went into the bedroom and turned on the wii.

5 minutes into the workout there was not much pain. Ugh I am thinking this is going to be a cakewalk one. Then 10 minutes into it I am smacked in reality. Working out is like falling in love. At the beginning you are scared of it. Then You start dreading it. Then you start and it is easy. Soon it brings you sweat and your heart starts racing. Then eventually if you overdue it...it can bring you to tears. Yep excercise is just like falling in love.

I am going to give in to a few cravings today. My monthly is screaming for it. I will be good all day and then give in a little at dinner.

Breakfast: Bowl of Kix, mandarin orange, skim milk and glass of water

Lunch: boiled egg, spinach salad with dressing

Dinner: Polish Sausage with baked sweet potato and salad.

Snacks: Not quite sure right now but maybe some celery with peanut butter and graham crackers with skim milk.

Day 11 I am really doing this even if I do not want too

I thought the second week would be easier. Oh boy was I wrong. Yesterday I did 3 loads of laundry and that required me to go up and down stairs a total of 9 times. I am wiped out and my legs ache and I still have one more load left so 3 more times today. I got my exercise done but my heart was not in it. I am trying Bob and it infuriates me when you say I am not doing it. I am sweating. I swear I am. But I will keep with him. I am going to keep pushing myself this week. I have to for my sanity and health. Like I said in the beginning of this journal. I am going to lose weight if I kill myself doing it.

Breakfast: Oatmeal, Orange juice and 1 egg

Lunch: Salad with lite italian dressing and small piece of turkey meatloaf

Dinner: Salad with a small pork mole burrito (pork, rice, lettuce and mole sauce).

Snacks will be yogurt, an apple and skim milk and graham cracker with a handful of peanuts.

Day 10 but today felt like Day 100

Today was a very rough day. Yesterday I went to the doctor and came out with some new diagnoses. They are fixable issues but still I am bummed. It seems like I have been falling apart every year I am getting older. Yes I am trying to fix that now but in the back of my mind I am thinking am I too late? I have high cholesterol which I have to take a pill and may have to take a pill for the rest of my life. Then I have vitamin d deficiency which makes me groggy and cranky. At least that is what I was reading. I also have the gene which gives me a higher chance of blood clots and stroke. So baby asprin daily for that. For rest of my life I am going to be on some kind of med. I am heartbroken but to hear it is genetic is reassuring. I am going to continue to fight this and lose the weight to give myself a better chance. Bob and I had a morning date and my heart was not in it. I forced myself to exercise for 41 minutes today and I could tell my heart was not there but I did it. Every day will get easier. I just have to be smart and listen up and continue to push.

Today was a bit about comfort food.

Breakfast: Oatmeal, orange juice and hard boiled egg.

Lunch: Bean burrito with carrot sticks

Dinner: Meatloaf made from ground chicken and one egg white, half baked sweet potato, steamed veggies and a very slin slice of french bread.

Snack: Yogurt with apple later.

Drunk about 70 ozs of water too.

I can be strong and keep going. Just have to remember the big picture. My family and my life.

Day 9

Good Morning Bob. It snowed last night and there is a 2 hour delay at school. Don't you worry dear I am not standing you up. I just made the kids some pancakes and sausage. I will see you in a bit. The kids munched on their pancakes and you decided it was time for me to move up a level. I persued and even took a phone call while it happened. 50 minutes later it was time to get the kid ready for school and I felt wiped out. But refreshed in a good way. We can do this Bob. Together you can get me fit.

Breakfast: 1 hardboiled egg, 1 turkey sausage, 1 yogurt and 1 glass of orange juice.

Lunch: Spinach salad with lettuce, mushrooms, tomatoes, carrots, croutons, bacon, cheese and lite italian dressing. Water to drink.

Snack: Graham cracker with peanut butter.

Dinner: Spaghetti with meat sauce (wheat spaghetti, italian tomato sauce and ground chicken).

Snack: Apple

Day 8

Today I just want to cry. I did not meet my Bob yet this morning but I have a date with him. I just am waiting for breakfast to settle. I will not stand you up. Just wait for me babe. We have 45 minutes today dear and I am all yours. Ro already knows of our relationship and he is determined to become close to your friend Jillian. We are bringing it this year Bob. We are going to become healthy. My scale was wrong yesterday and it appears I did not lose anything yesterday but I am determined to do well. I will lose all this flab in time.

Breakfast: 1 small bowl of menudo, lime, onion, 1 corn tortilla, 1 glass of orange juice.

Lunch: Bean burrito, cheese and hot sauce, salad of spinach, romaine, baby tomatos, and dressing.

Snack: Graham Cracker with Peanut butter

Dinner: Chicken Burger with lettuce and tomato, sweet potato fries and baby carrots.

Snack: Yogurt with graham cracker

I will not et discouraged. I can and will do this. Not every day will have a loss. I just want no gain. Drinking tons of water too. I am stronger and it is a matter of mind over body. I can do it. Yes I can!

Day 7 a week of Changes

A week of changes have hit us now Bob. I wake up, go to the restroom, fill up my water jug and find my sweats. I set up the wii and find my mat. The settle down and wonder how we are going to challenge me this week. Bob man I cannot start my morning without you anymore. You are part of the family now. Tomorrow is weigh in Bob. I really hope that scale went in the right way this time. My husband is even a little envious of my devotion to you. Thank you Bob for making me healthier. One week into this journey and I already feel a little more confident and that I can do this.

Today was my designated free day. I eat what I want and how much I want. Today was interesting and I am glad to say I was not glutenous about it. I was reasonable and I still feel good.

Breakfast: Chick-Fil-A Spicy Chicken Biscuit with one pack of honey,small fruit cup and medium fresh squeezed diet lemonade.

Snack: 1.5 servings rice chips

Lunch: 3 chicken wings, 1/4 cup mashed potatoes and gravy, and cole slaw.

Dinner: 1 costco Polish Sausage with sauerkraut, ketchup and mustard

Snack: Baby carrots with ranch dressing

Not bad for a free day where I could have went hog wild. Slowly but surely I am learning moderation.

Day 6 Almost to my Free Day

Bob you liked me today either that or I am getting used to this working out thing. I actually look forward to doing our daily thing now. Can we please keep that scale moving? I almost felt bad because I did not feel as much pain today. But I guess that is good thing. I did really well yesterday and I can tell you are pleased because you kept saying nothing but positive. Bob I love the way you are working me. Thank you Bob. I would be lost without you.

Todays Diet plan is kind of clean out the fridge. I am looking to see what is left and what I can throw together. Tomorrow is my free day.

Breakfast: Orange, Bowl of Kix with skim milk and hard boiled egg.

Lunch: Baked sweet potato with 1/2 pat of butter and honey, salad with italian dressing and cucumber.

Dinner will be Fried Chicken Breast with skin removed. Baked sweet potato and cole slaw. No biscuits or rolls.

Snack will be reliable yogurt, peanut butter and graham crackers.

Every day I am doing this it is becoming easier and easier. I hope I can follow through and get it done.

Day 5

This morning was supposed to be a free day for exercising and I woke up looking forward to it. I logged on to log my calories from yesterday and on my plan I see no additional exercise except walking on the plan. Um Bob dear I know we had a fight yesterday but I really do need you. Please come back babe and torture me some more. I scrolled though my options and found a full body workout. I did that for a grueling 19 minutes. Bob honey, my husband cannot get rid of me that easy. Did you seriously think our commitment could be ended for just that one day? I need you Bob. It has only been 4 days but I actually look forward to you yelling at me to keep going. So Bob reluctantly lead me through a workout and even warned me that "You are going to need a towel for this workout." I think he suspected that I would say "screw that and turn on another game." Nope Bob baby I am committed to you and wii fit on occasion. Noone else is going to replace you. I got it done and even did a 27 minute workout on Wii Fit Plus. I am not giving up Bob. You have to save me because if you do not then I will not do anything. Bob I know we have our issues but man right now I love how you are changing me. I actually look forward to my activity. Unlike before I sobbed. Now I rejoice. Bob babe I will see you tomorrow, same time, same place and I will bring a yoga mat so we can both be a little more comfortable tomorrow.

Today I have planned a meal plan again. I am going to stick with it because if I know how much I have and what I have to do I follow it better.

Breakfast: Serving of Oatmeal made with Skim Milk and honey, Hard Boiled Egg and an Orange.

Mid Snack: Raspberry Yogurt with Graham Cracker

Lunch: Bean Burrito. Salad with Cucumber and Italian dressing, skim milk and an orange.

Dinner: Chicken Alfredo on Fetticini with broccoli.

Snack: Graham Cracker with Peanut butter

Again posting this now so I can be held accountable. Will update later if something else happens. Also my daily 2 mile walk to pick up and drop off my daughter.

Day 4: This will get easier right?

Today was day 2 of exercising with Bob Harper from the Biggest loser. The best part is the man comes straight to me in my bedroom and does not judge me when my fat jiggles around seriously. I do not know what I did to that man but I must have pissed him off. He started out nice by letting me do a nice warm-up for 6 minutes. Then had me advance to the next level. He then instead of being the sweet loving trainer I am used to turned in to an inconsiderate bloke.

He let me box which I loved but then he told me forcefully to get on my knees. Excuse me Bob you wanna repeat that??? I do not even bow to my husband. Oh Bob you do not want me to bow you want me to do what? Oh God those are not what I want I know those are going to kill me I never asked for those. Fricking planks and not just one set of them but three grueling sets of them. These are my despise and I will feel this in the morning. I relent to his wishes and I give in.This man has brought me to my knees and gave me tears in my eyes. Oh good, did you say I am half way over? I am almost done, the torture is almost over. Say what? There are still 2 more grueling cycles? Bob shut your mouth man,I hate you right now. I love you for caring enough to torture me but seriously just because I am cow does not mean I like bending over. I know in time I will love you but now my ab muscles are screaming at me. I did not even know those babies still existed I suspected they disappeared around the age of 14. 40 minutes of that torture and then another 6 minutes of cool down. Bob baby we have a date tomorrow but I hope I get to stay off my knees this time. I also walked 1 mile to drop dd off at school and will do it again when I pick her up. So that is a total of 2 miles logged

For breakfast I had a bowl of lowfat cottage cheese with some fiber in it, a small orange and jello with a glass of water. After that work I honestly was not that hungry.

For Lunch I decided to do something light too. I made a bean burrito with hot sauce on a small tortilla, a salad with cucumbers, a graham cracker and glass of milk. It was pretty filling.

For dinner I am making some thinly sliced flank steak with a sweet potato and broccoli. Very simple but healthy.

Snack will be a yogurt with a graham cracker. ETA: I was still hungry so I ate 5 ritz crackers. That helped and was only 80 calories.

Yesterday was a battle but if I got to bed early I will not be tempted plus my body is already screaming for sleep. I am going to lose weight even if it kills me. If I do not lose weight I know for sure I will be killing myself. Have a wonderful evening and Bob babe...I will see you at the same time tomorrow!

Day 3

This day has started off with a bang. I woke up and did my workout with the biggest loser. I worked out very intensely for 45 minutes. It brought me to a sweat and felt good. Now when it warms up some I am going for another walk. I really have to work hard at this.

For Breakfast today I had 2 servings of cheerios with 3/4 cup of skim milk. I also cut an orange up into several pieces and ate that. Then I drank a glass of water before and after words.

For lunch I am going to have cottage cheese, cucumber, water and another orange.

Dinner was supposed to be spaghetti however Ro brought home pizza so i had a small serving of spaghetti and then a few pieces of pizza.

I gave in to temptation. It is out of my system. Tomorrow will be a good day. I am going to do this!

Day 2

Today I slacked a bit but I am very proud of myself in other ways. We went to Chick-Fil-A for lunch. Normally I would have 3 biscuits and fries. Today i had one and a half and drank a small diet lemonade. Then for lunch I had a glass of milk and graham crackers. Dinner was a chicken breast, 1/4 cup steamed white rice and 2 servings of broccoli. I am also drinking water with every meal.

For exercise I walked 3.2 miles today. It was really refreshing even though it got pretty cold. I can do this. I also set up my plan on the wii. I am going to do this. Slow and steadily I will become the person I want to be.

Today is the First Day

Today is the day I am starting a new life. Today I start a lifestyle change instead of a diet plan. Today is the first day of finding that skinny beautiful woman I know I can be. All my life I have been a larger woman, I have blamed genes and my parents but I know now I am responsible for it all. I never had to put that food in my mouth or eat quite as much. Because of my action I am the way I am now.

My current stats as of 1/1/2011 is 241 lbs. I am only 5 ft 4 inches tall so I really need to get in shape. My current goal is 198. I was 198 when I met my husband. Maybe I was smaller but for some reason 198 sticks in my mind. I honestly think when I get to that number I will be motivated. That will be almost 50 lb weight loss. My ultimate goal would be 160. Once I get there I will be satisfied. I hope when I get there I will finally changed my lifestyle and I can be the me that has always been inside.

I am not honestly doing this for Vanity Reasons. Back in July I was scheduled for gall bladder surgery. I checked into post op and instead of taking my gall bladder out I was rushed to the er. My bp was 220/124 I was near stroke. The dr currently has me on two different meds. I am told if I lose weight I will be able to get off of them. My great aunt died from hypertension and I do not want to follow her footsteps I can and will do this for my family.

I am going to be using walking/jogging and Biggest Loser Wii as my main workouts right now. I will get weights and such as the fat melts away. I will also do a Body for Life eating plan when we get paid again. For now I am doing portion control. Wish me luck in this wonderful journey. I am determined to find the skinny girl hiding inside of me.