That was a first for me

I have cursed. I have yelled. I have even collapsed but today my workout brought me to tears. Not tears of pain or frusturation but tears I cannot explain. I have been working out the last year and it finally happened today. So strange but I was reading perfectly normal.

It was supposed to be a rest day but I decided to do UFC Trainer and Zumba. Only a hour 50 minute work out but it killed my legs. I am doing this. Slowly but surely I am going to get where I deserve to be.

Day 1 of this next year of journeys

I start my journey over every year. I just want to make sure I can stay on track. Yes I keep all my progress from the previous year but I want a fresh start like all other people. I just know what I am doing already.

So how did I come up with my number? You may have wondered. I never had a doctor care about my weight loss before. When she saw my number get down to 180 she was elated. She then told me I needed to get down to healthy BMI. We estimated this would be 140. We both know this will be a journey that will take at least another year and that is a challenge I am willing to accept. It is a journey not a race. I want to learn to do this right because I never want to see the number 200 again.

As of today my husband joined me too. We are going to do Biggest Loser and UFC training. I will also do Zumba and throw in some walking. We are becoming healthier as a couple. I am so proud of him for deciding to step in with me. He is an incredible man and I want him to live forever.

Welcome 2012. 2011 was very kind to me. Now make my dreams come true. I will see single pants size digits if it kills me. I can and will succeed. I am no longer a failure.

1 year into my Journey

Rome wasn't built in a day and I know that I won't be skinny in a year.
This is a realization. I have far exceeded my expectations from last year. My goal was to be at 200. I hit that mark and more. As of today I am not at my lowest. But honestly with the holidays that is expected. I kept my clothes for memories of the day I decided to start my journey. I wanted a page I could always turn back too. I put them on today just for fun and this was the result.

1 year. 60 lbs. I am pretty damn proud of me. I now have 40 more pounds until I hit my doctors goal. My husband is joining me. I am very excited for him to experience all I have this year. I cannot wait for him to become healthier for the kids and me. I am proud of he is going to do. We can do this. I know we can.

Almost a year later

As I sit here tonight listening to my kids argue and the husband snore away, I realize that this time last year I made a conscience effort to lose the former me. I never dreamed that night I would be below 200. I never dreamed I would have better blood work. I never dreamed I would miss dieting. As of today I have lost 60 lbs. Yes I have lost more but gained a bit back due to holidays. But that is okay my body needed a shock treatment. This year I will be joining the Y with my family. We will all work out and become stronger and healthier. We will all be the best we can be. My dear blog readers if you are still there, if you can dream it you can acheive it.

My doctor and I agreed on a final weight. We both agree that 140 is a good number to reach. That will leave me at a BMI of 25. I will be proud of myself. So off to go on my new adventure. Tomorrow I will take a picture of myself in my before clothes. I am so proud of who I am becoming. Slowly but surely I am turning into that Skinny new me. Happy 2012 everyone and thank you 2011 for showing me I could do it.

A new year, a new bmi

My whole life I have been obese. I knew it too. My heart would ache at the stares and rude comments. However I never saw myself as obese. Today my dream came true. I have been doing Zumba 2 on the wii for the past 2 weeks and the weight is just melting off.This morning at my weigh in I jumped on the scale. Imagine my surprise when I heard a new sound. I glanced up and it said Overweight. What? No way! That was my goal for next year. I got off again and it said the same thing. So my friends I am just overweight. I know I will never get to normal but that is okay. I am doing strong and I am succeeding. Almost one year into this and I am rocking it. Hope everyone has a great weekend. I am very very blessed so far.

Thanksgiving Goal Reached

My goal for before thanksgiving was 178. Today I hit it at 177.5! I am so thrilled. I have been doing Zumba 2 now for almost a week and it really does work. I love it! I am so happy right now. I may get down to 170 before the end of the year!

Another Milestone, another victory

I knew these past 2 weeks I had to step it up. I prayed and prayed. Then I started a new workout routine. And wallah here I am. Today I see a new number. A number I never dreamed of. I stand here in front of you at 179.8. Granted I have cried while working out and pushed myself farther and harder this month then I ever have. I have sacrificed. I have screamed, I have hurt and I have bitched. But let's be honest the rewards far outweigh the negatives. I am a stronger woman then I was. I am a rock. I am evolving into something incredible. For this I am thankful. I am a force to be reckoned with and watch and see come 2012 I will be at my first main goal 175 and I will continue to go.

Part of the Journey

Every week cannot be a loss. Some weeks will be up some will be the same most will be down. This week I was up half a pound. I am not going to let this affect my journey. I am taking my free day today and then I am getting back on track come tomorrow. I am still learning and fighting and someday I will get down to where I want to be.

A new low for me again

As of today I am very happy to report I have hit a number I have not seen in forever. I am down to 183! I cannot wait to go to my doctor and have her look at me and sense the new woman I am becoming. I am excercising at least 3 times a week. I had a very stressful week and am going to take the weekend off but come Monday I will come back fighting. I have learned we all need a break sometimes. When we have that break we cannot beat ourselves up. Its a journey not a race and all that matter is that we reach the destination. It should not matter how long it takes we will all get there eventually as long as we do not stop.

I can never get tired of these

I thought this would be fun. Here is my picture of 187.5 not a milestone picture but I love the little reminder that I am losing. So here I am 1 year 2 months later and even if my picture does not show it 1000 times happier then ever.

Love watching that scale move

I was upset because I had to have a tooth pulled out this week. All I wanted to eat was sandwiches and the carbs really affected my weight. On Tuesday I weighed myself and sure enough I was back up to 189.5 I was livid I wanted to cry. I decided to Zumba and did it two days in a row and sure enough thank goodness today I am down to 187.5! I am so happy as I really need to see that scale move. I feel so good about myself. I even hesitate I am becoming an inspiration. Who knows all I know is I am doing something right and that feels pretty dang good!

Amazing what exercise can do

Today I stand in front of you. 188.5! I am officially out of the 190's. It seems like just yesterday I was struggling with the 220's! I am very excited to go to my doctor and see her reaction come December. She is going to get to see a healthier and happier Susan. I am thrilled to do this.

Yesterday I did Zumba for 45 minutes. My shoulders were screaming at me. After I get home from volunteering at my sons class I will do biggest loser again. I am going to get this done.

Welcome back Bob

So lately I am not happy with my weight loss. I want to see bigger numbers. The only way I can make bigger numbers happen is to start back my exercise. My strap broke for EA active so I am going back to biggest losers. Damn Bob still has it. My legs are screaming and I got very sweaty but the awesome thing is I feel great. So welcome back Bob. Let's do this and help me achieve my goals!

Who am I?

As I sit here on my desktop today this question is popping into my head? Who am I? 9 months ago I was depressed, scared, and very overwhelmed with myself. Here I stand 9 months later. I am a much more confident woman. I am much more social. I am very happy in my relationship. For the first time in a very long time I am content with my life and that feels amazing.

Do not get me wrong. I am thrilled I weight 190. I never dreamed I would be this small again. I did not imagine it. Especially when it is still 2 months shy of my goal to be 200. I am sure that losing 53 lbs is helping me. I seem a bit positive, a bit more content and a heck lot more healthier.

So tell me the truth...do you really see a difference from my old picture and this one? Please excuse the mirror, I did this quickly in the morning.




Finally, I have everything I have wanted in life. I have a man who loves me, 2 incredible children, an safe community to live and a happier healthier me. I am not close to the end of my journey yet but here I am. I am surviving and doing this. I am an incredible inspiration and a very happy person.

50 lbs Loss Officially

So here I am as of today. 50 lbs loss. 50 lbs of fat gone never to return. I am going to hit my goal this year. I have to do it. 175 here I come. Can I lose 20 lbs in 3 months? Not sure but even if I hit 180 by then I will be happy! 20 percent body fat gone. I can do this.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Here I am 1 week later. I have had a week of ups and downs. Here I am this week struggling but this morning I got on the scale. I am 1 lb lighter. Everyone says slow and steady wins the race. But well I miss the days of 3 lb losses. I will get there again and even if not I am closer and closer to my goal. 193 and counting every pound is 1 lbs farther away from 248.

A new me. A new approach to life

Today I am so thankful for my very supportive husband and my beautiful children. Today I stand just shy 8 months of when this all started. Most people create babies in 9 months. Not me I created a whole new woman. I took a very depressed morbidly obese woman and turned her into a beautiful woman. Yes according to BMI I am still class one Obese. But I am so close to just being overweight right now that I can taste it. Yes right now my ultimate goal is 170 and that is just overweight but I can do this! I can be the strong woman I want to be.

Today I stand a strong 194 pound woman. Today I will be the best woman I can be. 48 lbs lighter. Hell yeah! I am woman hear me roar!

Holy Shit, I did this

My ultimate goal was to hit 199 this year. To be out of 200's and into onderland. As of today I hit 198. I am so stinking proud of myself. It has been 8 months and I have made it. I have struggled and survived and I am there. It has been a battle. Learning to take breaks, how much sodium is okay and how to deal with cravings but I am there. I am so proud of myself and I will continue this journey. Next goal, 175 by July 29th 2012. Welcome to Onderland Susan. You deserved this a long time ago.

Here we are

I am still learning all the right and wrong things I can and cannot have. But in the end it is worth it. With holidays, tempting fast foods, tempting snack foods I am learning discipline. I am now only weighing in once a week as once everyday was too stressful for me to maintain. I am proud to report as of today I am 203.6. Not my lowest but it is pretty darn good for me! I am also starting to think my scale was off the day I weighed in at my lowest. So I am learning as I go. I am struggling but I just realized I am 3.7 lbs from my goal for the year. I still have 5 months and I am almost there. I dream of going to my dr come December and I am not just 40 lbs from my starting weight but closer to 50. I am going to keep focusing. Think positive and I am going to hit my goal. I am proud of who I am right now. I can do this and keep showing my family the healthy way to be.

Up & Down Like a roller coaster

I am up and down like a roller coaster but I always am getting back on track and that is most important. Right now I am sitting at 206. Yes it is not 202.5 but it is still pretty good considering right now I have my woman issues. So we will see where this week goes. I am eating less carbs and more fruits and veggies. If I am determined I will make it back to my 202 or even 200 soon. When there is a will there is a way and I have not lost that will yet. Combine that with EA active training and 2-4 hour swim sessions these pounds will melt away.